NYU Students Agree: Secrets Don't Create Community

At New York University, students have long acknowledged their lack of community, but during the 2012-13 school year, various pages on Facebook have attempted to fill in the gaps.  By far the most popular is NYU Secrets, which posts anonymous messages from students confessing to everything from depression, to unrequited love, to pranks played on their roommates.  Although the page states that its “mission” is “to give NYU a community,” students interviewed on Friday disagreed, believing that although it’s entertaining, NYU Secrets, and pages like it, don’t do much to actually bring people together.

“It cheapens the effect of something that’s honest,” said Claudia Dimuro, a sophomore majoring in Media, Culture, and Communications.  She recalls one post in which a girl had discovered she was pregnant and didn’t know what to do.  “It’s very grave, but if you post it on the internet it’s not taken as seriously.”

NYU Secrets has over 11,000 “likes” and has posted about 1,800 secrets since it began in late November last year.  While the secrets are anonymous, each one is open to comments from anyone on Facebook, a situation which often leads to insensitive remarks being made in attempts to amuse others.  The worst comments have even spawned a blog, NYU Secrets Bigots, which “calls out” those who make racist, sexist, or otherwise offensive statements.

Dimuro thinks it’s an unfortunate issue, but that when someone submits a secret, they “have to realize they’re opening themselves up to ridicule.”  As for the commenters, they’re just one example of how the page doesn’t live up to its mission.  She continued:  “It drives you apart... because if you stay isolated in front of the computer screen, you’re not going out and finding yourself with other physical beings”

Behind her, in Washington Square Park, members of NYU’s Class Activities Board were setting up a tent for their “Spring Fling,” luring students out into the sunny weather with promises of free food and giveaways.  Kate Russell, who joined Dimuro in waiting for the event to start, agreed that NYU Secrets did not create an environment where friendships could form.

“People will say things to you that they would never say to anybody in person” said Russell, a Liberal Studies student and founder of themusicobession.com, a music blog which she has run since 2008.  “If [NYU Secrets] really wanted to do something productive...” she paused, thinking. “I don’t want to say a therapy group, but you know what I mean.  Instead of venting and poking fun at anonymous people’s real life problems, it’d be better to have a club.”

Creating a real-world community though, is where NYU struggled in the first place.  No one can pinpoint the reason for students’ lack of camaraderie, but the open campus, unpopularity of school sports, and brisk Manhattan attitude have all been named as culprits at one time or another.  

“It’s a much more independent school,” said Laura Valenza, a sophomore studying comparative literature, who believes one needs to be unabashedly outgoing (or at least fake it pretty well) to make friends outside of the dormitories.  “I’ve met people who are so judgemental,” she continued, “but if you don’t put yourself out there you’re never going to get anywhere.”

Valenza also theorized that the internet was beginning to change her peers’ real-world behavior.  “I feel like people are getting more careless with what they say,” she said.  “There’s so many times when people say things to me and they can’t even put together the pieces of how it would be really insulting.”

“People aren’t as bad as other people make them out to be” said Dimuro, but you have to “weed that out by talking to them.”  She suggests complementing their clothing or talking before a class.   “Even if you’re interacting for just a second you’re at least making someone feel better about themselves” chimed in Russell.  “Rather than saying something negative on the internet, that lasts longer since it’s in writing.”
Dimuro and Russell met outside their freshman dorm during a fire drill, but acknowledge that this kind of random connection was rare.  “We just nodded at each other like ‘yup, I hate everything,’” said Russell.  “But if you were looking down at your phone, we wouldn’t have had that moment.”